Monday, March 10, 2014

Musical Monday - If I Didn't Have You by Tim Minchin


Today's Musical Monday selection is apropos of a text conversation that I was a secondary party to yesterday. By that I mean I wasn't directly involved in the texting, but the individual on my end let the other party know that she was sharing the texted information to me in order to formulate her responses. The exact content of the conversation is not really all that important. What is important is that I think Tim Minchin has humorously hit on a very important truth that so many people would be better off realizing: You do not have a single soul mate. There is not one person out there who was made just for you. Instead, you probably have a range of people who would be suitable partners. As Minchin says, people fall on a bell curve.

To a certain extent, romance novels and movies have a lot to answer for in this regard, as many of them lean heavily on the idea that there is one perfect soul mate for every person, and you just have to find that person and hold on to them in order to be happy. But the reality is that there are probably a substantial number of people whom you could spend your life with and be perfectly happy. Each choice would lead to a different path - some partners might be smarter than others, but less talented in other areas. Some partners might share a certain set of interests with you but not others, while the alternative choice would share a different array of interests with you. And so on. All that you really need to make a relationship work is a degree of shared interest, and to be perfectly honest I've seen some functional relationships that didn't even have that.

So when that guy or girl walks out the door, you haven't lost your chance at love and happiness. There are many other people out there that would probably make you just as happy, only in a different way. That isn't to say it's not going to hurt - part of what makes a relationship work and fondness grow is familiarity and a shared history. But in the end, someone else will probably do just as nicely, and you can take solace in that.

Previous Musical Monday: Your Brains by Jonathan Coulton
Subsequent Musical Monday: Love You Like a Burrito by The Doubleclicks

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